binging and self-mutilation

Last week went really, super poorly. Pizza, cookies, ice cream and chips were involved. I kept up with exercise and some non-health goals, but basically had a week-long binge. It was really kind of saddening to me that I allowed myself to slip backwards like that. I think it was triggered by the anxiety and self-doubt that comes with a disappointing weigh-in. I should be focused on my health and making long-term, sustainable changes in my lifestyle. If I'm going to get so bent out of shape about a silly number on an ever-fluctuating little machine that only measures one dimension of my progress, then I probably shouldn't be weighing myself so often. I think I'm going to take a break from the scale and maybe check in once a month or so.

When I went to counseling yesterday I talked about binging and asked my counselor his opinion on why it's such a hard habit to break. At first he went on a bit about how "chocolate cake tastes better than tofu and when you're presented with a choice it's hard to get yourself to not want the chocolate cake". He mentioned phrases like "comfort food" and "activating the pleasure center". And I told him that I understood what he was saying but that it didn't quite describe what it felt like for me. Then he started talking about cutting and clients he's seen who self-mutilate in a compulsive effort to experience physical pain that distracts from emotional pain. I felt like everything he was saying about cutting was a pretty accurate match for bingeing too - the shame, secrecy, compulsiveness, lack of self-confidence, need to punish yourself and to distract from deeper emotional issues.

I started thinking that maybe it would help to read a bit about self-mutilation and learn how people successfully overcome that. I have all the knowledge about exercise and nutrition that I could ever need. I make great plans, set reasonable goals, etc. I go through really successful periods, but always slip back into the darkness of bingeing somehow. To me, this is not an issue of willpower or lack of knowledge about weight loss. I think a different perspective could help.

I've been searching a bit online and have actually found a lot of literature linking eating disorders to self-harm behaviors.
One article says that binge eaters have high expectations of themselves and that when they fall short of those standards, they become anxious or depressed and "to escape from this unpleasant state, binge eaters attempt the cognitive response of narrowing attention to the immediate stimulus environment and avoiding broadly meaningful thought."

This article lumps suicide attempts, self-injury and eating disorders together under a label of self-destructive behavior and looks at the connection between these behaviors and "childhood trauma or disrupted parental care". It says that people can react to current stresses "as a return of childhood trauma, neglect and abandonment."

I had very loving parents and was not a victim of any sort of childhood trauma, but I know my issues with shame, binging and sneaking food started when I was young and worsened around puberty when I developed earlier and more excessively than any of my peers and received a lot of unwelcome attention for that before I was emotionally mature enough to deal with it. So - it's interesting to think about those sorts of connections although I'm more interested in developing new coping mechanisms than rehashing the past.

Just food for thought. What do you think? Do you see binging as a diet/self-control issue or as an emotional or psychological issue connected to other self-destructive behaviors? Have you overcome binging or self-mutilating?